STORIES OF HER LIFE
faith
Throughout her life, Mata Mendro maintained a strong belief in the power of prayers and strived to live a Gurmukh life that adhered to Sikhi values. She believed that everything she attained in life was due to God's blessing. Her monetary and social assets were viewed as tools to create positive change in society. It was Mata Mendro's faith that allowed her to have the strength to overcome hardships and persevere over suffering as she trusted that everything occurred according to God’s will. This faith allowed her to focus on how to live with dignity and honor. When her house burnt down, and her husband and her were homeless, Bibi used her resourcefulness to create a flower business where she searched out unusual flowers and organized bouquets to sell. When a close friend betrayed her family's trust and cheated her of her hard-earned savings, she strived to help herself and others around her to overcome the challenges instead of focusing on the betrayal. In essence, Mata Mendro and Sardar Kartar focused on prayers for God’s blessing as they rebuilt their lives.
Mata Mendro embodied the three essential values of Sikhism throughout her life. Her practice of waking up early to perform Japji Sahib and Nitnem bani throughout her day allowed her to remember the name of God and attain peace for herself. When her grandchildren were born, she started dedicating her recital of Sukhmani Sahib to each grandchild. Her frequent attendance at the Gurdwara to listen and sing Gurbani allowed her to incorporate "Nam Japna" within her days. When she was younger, and before she lost her singing voice, she would sing and lead community members in Kirtan at the Gurdwara with her sweat singing voice. At home, she would constantly sing Gurbani to her grandchildren. She loved to recite Shabads such as "Jo Mange Thakur Apne Te" and others which depicted gratitude, faith, and the acceptance of the Guru. The literal translation exemplified Mata Mendro’s steadfast belief that God will provide whatever one needs when there is full acceptance of the magnanimous of God.
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In addition to spending time meditating on God, Mata Mendro generously spent valuable time performing selfless Seva in the Gurdwara and within the community. This, along with the numerous charitable donations which they regularly contributed to, allowed her and Sardar Kartar to exemplify "Vhand Chakna" or the spirit of sharing. Both Mata Mendro and her husband contributed an abundance of time, effort, and donations to the rebuilding of the Silat Road Maharaj Memorial and the Sikh Center. They participated in the laying of the foundation for the memorial of Bhai Maharaj Singh - the first Sikh and Saint Soldier in Singapore. Over the years, Mata Mendro dedicated hours at the Gurdwara, and continued to serve after her husband’s death by doing Seva in his name.
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Both Mata Mendro and Sardar Katar personified the principle of "Kirat Kirni" by immersing themselves to work so as to earn an honest living in their real estate business. They upheld exemplary values in their personal lives, in addition to teaching their children and grandchildren how to live honest and dignified lives.
By following Sikhi principles and relying on her faith, Mata Mendro did her best to live a God-centered and Gurmukh life. It was these principles that allowed her to attain success and achieve happiness. She always reminded others not to focus on their worries or anxieties but instead to just live and be happy by reciting the following :
"Everything is up to God and God provides whatever one needed".
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Despite the success she and her husband attained, Mata Mendro remained humble, compassionate, and God-centered. Her faith in the values of Sikhi inspired and made her a steadfast community leader and volunteer. She dedicated her life to those who needed help – constantly donating and volunteering with the Sikh Welfare Council, where she met and generously helped many struggling families. Mata Mendro was a common sight visiting homes of the families of the needy whom she supported with financial donations and bringing them food. She financially and spiritually supported as many people as she could as she believed that it was important for her to share what she received through her hard work, which she firmly believed was her duty as a Gurmukh.
Mata Mendro was especially passionate about helping the elderly and the disabled . This passion resulted from watching her active father deteriorate after a stroke which left him paralyzed. As his primary caregiver, she became intimately aware of the lack of community support available for those within this vulnerable group. She was a life-member of the Rochor Community Centre Senior Club and a member of the Y.W.C.A International Women’s Club, which focuses on the betterment of seniors, where she could be found organizing and contributing to events for fellow senior citizens. Additionally, she was a life member of the Central Sikh Temple, the Guru Singh Sabha Temple, and she never failed to participate in the various Sikh Welfare Council voluntary services. She was commemorated with a certificate for her various contributions to then needy by the Sikh Welfare Council in 1996. Mata Mendro’s voluntarism extended to her local Bukit Batok Polyclinic where she frequently contributed her time organizing workshops and was a member of the Diabetes Support Network. Dr. Atareee, a physician at Bukit Batok, was immensely impressed with her social networking skills and encouraged her to form a core support group to assist vulnerable patients who required counselling. Mata Mendro viewed everyone in the community as her family members and therefore, continued to donate her time and money to multiple worthy charitable causes all over Singapore throughout her lifetime.
Mata Mendro was a compassionate, resourceful, and innovative woman but her crowning skill was her ability to make connections with people and build a network of individuals around her. It was always common for her to be surrounded by friends and for her to run into friends when she was out of the house. Her network was so large and strong that whenever she flew oversees to visit her grandchildren and children in the US, UK, Canada and Australia, she frequently met old friends at international airports or Gurdwaras abroad. Bibi had the wondrous ability to make anyone and everyone she met feel like they were special and precious just the way they were. Her infinite capacity to love and her gentle nature made children and everyone who needed extra gentleness, gravitate towards her. Bibi built her network of friends through loving kindness and harnessed her ability to make connections to create long term positive change in her community.
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Everyone who knew Mata Mendro, felt her immense positive optimism and kindness. She trusted in her own ability and taught her grandchildren to follow their hearts and desires rather than adapt and limit their lives based on the expectations of others. She understood that people needed to be loved and that the care provided would allow them to grow and become the best version of themselves. Mata Mendro extended this care and love to everyone around her: standing in as a parent in support for those who desired and needed one. She prayed for those who needed help and helped everyone she could. People within the community have stories of her supporting them with their journey of IVF, supporting their marriage when others were against it, supporting education endeavours for the needy, supporting fledging businesses and using her network to positively impact society.
The greatest and most lasting impact she had was on her grandchildren, who strive to embody the values that were important to her. She led them with her gentle humour, nurturing their ideas and showering them with love. Mata Mendro shared her constant philosophy on life that "mistakes were never as devastating as one thinks they are". People can always re-start their lives and take the opportunity to change their path at any moment in time. As always, she always reminded people that God would guide them through their trials and tribulations but they needed to put in the work to make the most of the opportunities of life.
Impact
SPIRIT
Mata Mendro was never afraid of hard
work and kept a positive outlook on life. In accordance to
Sikh scriptures, Mata Mendro worked hard and took on responsibility within the business and community which was not usually common amongst women during the mid-20th century. She believed in the equality of the genders and encouraged her daughters and granddaughters to carry onwards in the face of discrimination. She lived by the principle of "endurance through hardships", overcoming all challenges with her immense faith in God.
Mata Mendro always forgave with the understanding that forgiveness and letting go were essential to the Guru’s teachings. After the passing of her husband, she stoically took over the operation of their real estate business and would supervise business details at the office. Throughout her life experiences, she learned how to work even when faced with immense pain and suffering. Instead of life’s challenges making her cynical and hard, it made her softer and more caring. Mata Mendro fostered a deep compassion for all, and readily spoke up, when required, for those who didn’t have a voice.
Last but not least, she strived to perform every task to the best of her abilities.
creativity
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Mata Mendro believed in finding and cultivating beauty, joy, and life wherever possible. Her innovative thinking and her passion for creativity led her to develop green-thumbs which she nurtured through practice in her garden. Mata Mendro believed that flowers and plants could bring joy and happiness when life appeared bleak. When her house burnt down and she and her husband had to rebuild their life without savings or a home, she started a business from a school courtyard (she was friends with the principal) where she assembled and sold flowers. She practiced creating beautiful decorations – a skill she retained throughout her life.
After leaving the flower business and attaining a garden of her own, she started cultivating a diversity of the flowers and plants within the garden.
Throughout her years, she could be found in the garden on clear and sunny mornings, tending to her plants: pruning and treating them with kindness. Even when she was too weak to work in the garden, she would take a tour of her plants and flowers. Mata Mendro instilled the love of nature in all her grandchildren and having them tend the garden with her always brought a smile to her face.
Mata Mendro was a caring and loving individual who constantly looked out for her family. After the death of her mother, she took over the role of a surrogate mother and selflessly raised her younger siblings. After her marriage at the tender age of 16, she dreamt of having children. However, when told that she was medically unable to have biological children, she decided to focus on how she could make the best of her situation instead of focusing on the negative. She fostered 14 children of different races and religions, teaching them to live in harmony and to respect one another. They now live all over the world and are well established in their respective careers.
As a woman of intense faith, she dedicated herself to selfless service and prayers over the years. Despite the judgement she faced from others for her inability to bear children, she remained positive and believed that God had a plan for her. After 14 years of continuous prayers, she was blessed with four healthy children. Mata Mendro determination and patience demonstrated her characteristic perseverance and innovative thinking that manifested in all she did.
FAMILY
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